Marriage Ceremonies

Throughout western Africa, marriages are viewed not just as the joining of two individuals, but rather as the joining of two extended families.  Traditionally, there are several important phases that occur leading up to the actual ceremony.

Proposal Phase

There is usually a phase during which the groom-to-be informs his family that he is interested in marrying a particular woman and solicits help from older family members (or, in some cases, a matchmaker or respected member of the community) to approach the woman's family.  This usually involves several cordial visits to the home of the bride-to-be's family (thereby providing the family of the bride-to-be with an opportunity to assess the character of the groom-to-be).  Among the Umu Igbo Ngidi (Igbo), the formal proposal starts with a rite called iku aka ("knock [on the door]") in which the the groom-to-be, accompanied by his father and elder male members of his family, visits the home of the  bride-to-be's family and expresses interest in marrying the bride-to-be.  The bride-to-be is called out and asked if she accepts the proposal of the groom-to-be.   If she answers in the affirmative, the umunna ("clan gathering") occurs, during which, in front of the bride's extended family, the groom restates his intention to marry the bride and the bride accepts; this is witnessed and blessed by the elder(s) of the bride's family.

Dowry Phase

During the next phase, a dowry is established (usually by the eldest male member of the bride's family) and paid by the groom.  The dowry is not payment for the bride but rather serves both as appreciation to the bride's family for raising a daughter well, despite knowing that she would one day leave them, and (symbolic) evidence of the groom's ability to provide for the bride.  In some cultures, the dowry is brought to the bride's family before the day of the marriage ceremony while in other cultures, the dowry is presented the day of the ceremony.  Among the Hausawa (Hausa) people the dowry is called the rubu dinar.

Preparation Phase

The next phase usually involves preparing the bride to leave her family compound and travel to the compound of the groom's family.  This includes receiving the blessings of her parents and other senior members of her compound.  It may also include a female member of the groom's family coming to stay with the bride in order to teach her the customs of her new household.  Among the Ọmọ-Odùduwà (Yoruba), this includes a rite known as Ekun Iyawo ("tears [of the bride]"), which symbolizes the bride's sadness at leaving her childhood home, friends, and family behind, as well as a processional rite called Igbeyawo ("lift the bride to carry"), during which he bride, accompanied by her close friends (who serve a role similar to bridesmaids) and family, is then carried, with much fanfare, to the groom's family compound. 

Marriage Ceremony

Marriage ceremonies in western Africa tend to be large, lavish, and sometimes multi-day, events involving extended family, distant relatives, friends, neighbors, and other members of the community.  The dowry may be presented on this day.  The commitment rite also typically happens on this day.   There is dancing.  There are often multiple changes of outfits.  And there is food...lots and lots of food!